Today I shared just a little more.

HIGH POINT: Greeting a new friend

LOW POINT:  Seriously, ‘…tiny little bubbles popping’?  Please tell me I didn’t write that.

BIGGEST LEARNING: Small external shifts are indicators of big internal change

This morning I was blessed with a fine reminder of just how far I’ve journeyed, not just over these past 30-days but throughout the past three years.

A gorgeously beautiful woman that I’d never met walked into an event I was managing and without thought or pause, I strode directly over and embraced her.  It was the most natural gesture in the world.

Not only that, once that first friendly clinch was complete, this woman and I hurdled straight over small talk and travelled quickly into the juicy zone of men, dating and feminine/masculine polarity.  Not only was it interesting surface content, we dove deep to personal (and ever more juicy) experiences with no hesitation.

I’ll be clear here: hugging/sharing/general touching of strangers didn’t used to be my thing – man or woman.  I  was one of those people who infinitely preferred air kisses and manly handshakes to the potential awkwardness of an embrace. Heaven forbid I actually let anyone into my world!  As my dear brother once remarked; if I were a castle, I’d have a very well guarded, crocodile infested moat surrounding myself.

Or in the language of Star Wars: my deflector shields were always up and fully operational.

Now?   I find myself eagerly embracing hugs (pun intended) and all forms of connection as essential to a life worth living.

In that moment this morning I knew instinctively that this woman was someone worth allying with – and I have already been rewarded with a new friendship that is rich, fulfilling and playful.

This is by no means an isolated occurrence.  More and more and I find myself parting with ridiculously personal information, looking people in the eye without a hint of self-consiousness (and a whole lot of curiosity), and ending countless conversations with ‘I love you.’  My 31-year old self has no idea who I am.

In those moments – be prepared for a Hallmark flash of gushiness here –  it has felt as though tiny little bubbles are popping inside and the only possible expression is through authentic touch or verbalising the first heartfelt comment that bursts forth or sometimes, in random uncontrollable (snorty) laughter.

My tightly wound left-brain is starting to freak out just a little bit.

The most delight-filled aspect to all of this is that there’s no end to this hugging/connecting/giggling/gooey-filled goodness!  Now that I’ve started down this rabbit hole, I can see that this exploration will be vast, expansive and limitless.

I wouldn’t say the moat is gone just yet, but I have built a rather sturdy bridge.

 

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